For my inner circle, from Marc
tubkns
The baby bar
A tear-free bar of baby soap with a face on it. Nobody has made bath time something a baby reaches for.
The idea
Take the most boring object in the nursery and give it a personality.
Every baby wash on the shelf is the same liquid in the same plastic bottle. Meanwhile bar soap has quietly come back, because it costs less per wash, travels better, and skips the plastic entirely.
So: a gentle, tear-free cleansing bar made specifically for babies, shaped like a friendly character with a face pressed into it. It cleans hair and body. It comes as a cast of characters in different colors, so there is a reason to collect them, gift them, and keep buying them.
This is not really a soap business. It is a character brand that happens to sell soap. That distinction is the whole thing.
Why it might work
The numbers are not the exciting part. The empty shelf is.
The wider baby personal care market gets quoted anywhere from seven billion to ninety six billion dollars depending on whether you count diapers and wipes, so I am using the narrow number above and ignoring the flattering one. As for the bars that do exist, I read the labels. Johnson's still sells one, but it is old-fashioned true soap, saponified tallow at a pH that strips infant skin. Dr. Bronner's baby bar is castile, same problem. Baby Dove and Cetaphil both sell a genuinely mild bar built on gentle synthetic surfactants, so mildness is not the open ground and I am not going to pretend it is. What none of them has is a face. Every one is a plain white or cream oval that looks like something you apply, not something you play with. Past those, the Amazon baby bar category is a wall of anonymous packaging. The gentle bar already exists. The one a baby reaches for does not.
The playbook already exists
Two people got rich adding a face to something nobody thought about.
A sponge with a smile
The face was not decoration. The mouth cleans utensils and the eyes clean glasses. Shark Tank, then QVC, then everywhere. Past one billion dollars in lifetime sales. It also runs licensed Disney shapes now, which is exactly the second act I have in mind.
Soap, but with a point of view
Picked an underserved audience, led with personality and content rather than chemistry, and sold to Unilever for one and a half billion dollars. The asset was the audience and the brand. The soap was almost incidental.
A cast beats a product
Distinct characters with names and personalities turn one purchase into a collection. Apply that to a four dollar consumable that gets used up every few weeks and the repeat purchase math becomes very friendly.
The cast
One shape, four friends, endless reasons to buy another.
Each character gets a color, a name, and a personality that maps to a variant. Sunny is the fragrance-free one for sensitive skin. Poppy is the calming lavender. Rounded shapes with no sharp edges and no small parts, which is both the friendly look and the safe one.
tubkins
poppy
sunny
minty
The brand
It already looks like a company, not a slide.
The mark is a bar of soap with a face pressed into it, sitting where the letter i belongs. It works in one color, forward and reversed, so it survives a carton, an embossed die, and a phone screen.
And it is ready to post. These are the launch tiles, built from the same four characters, which is the cheapest marketing a baby brand has: a face people want to share.
The hard parts
Four real problems, and how each one gets solved.
A bar of soap is bad for baby skin
True, and this is the one that kills the idea if we get it wrong. Traditional soap runs at a pH of nine or ten and strips infant skin, which is why almost every baby wash is liquid and why the old bars on the shelf are the wrong product.
The fixIt cannot be soap. It has to be a syndet bar, formulated to skin pH around 5.5 on gentle surfactants, which is the same technology inside a Dove beauty bar. This is settled, not speculative: Baby Dove already sells exactly this chemistry for infants, which means the hard formulation question has been answered by someone with more to lose than us. Stephenson sells a baby-suitable syndet base off the shelf, and Twincraft in Vermont and Vanguard in Memphis both produce bars at scale and hold hundreds of molds.
Babies put everything in their mouths
A small, colorful, toy-shaped object aimed at infants is a fair thing to worry about, and it is the first question any serious operator will ask.
The fixNever embed a toy, which is where the actual recalls in this category come from. Make the bar larger than the federal small-parts cylinder, keep the form a single rounded solid with nothing that snaps off, and keep the formula low irritant so incidental mouthing is unpleasant rather than dangerous. A friendly shape is not a toy, and it should not pretend to be one.
Complicated shapes are expensive to make
Fully sculpted three dimensional characters have to be cast in molds, slowly, at a much higher cost per unit than the extruded bars that fill the drugstore aisle.
The fixThe hero bar is a rounded shape with the face pressed in as a relief, which runs on cheap high speed equipment. That is precisely what Scrub Daddy does. Save the fully sculpted characters for premium and limited edition drops, where the higher price covers the slower process.
Unilever could do this next week
This is the one that worries me most, and it is worth saying out loud rather than letting you find it. Unilever already owns both halves of this idea. Baby Dove is a mild synthetic detergent bar for infants that they manufacture at scale today, and in November 2025 they closed the one and a half billion dollar purchase of Dr. Squatch, which bought them the personality-brand playbook. Pressing a face into a bar they already make is not a hard project for them.
The fixAccept that the formula is not defensible and stop selling it as though it were. What is ownable is the cast: the characters, their names, the artwork, and the trademark, none of which a competitor can copy the way they can copy a surfactant blend. So move first, register the intellectual property early, and take the registry and specialty shelf while a company that size is still deciding whether a four dollar novelty is worth a line review. And if the honest outcome is that they would rather buy this than build it, that was the plan all along.
The money
The margins are good, if we price it like a brand and not like soap.
| Line | Per bar |
|---|---|
| Retail price | $8.99 |
| Wholesale price | $4.50 |
| Cost to make and pack | ~$1.50 |
| Margin selling direct | ~83% |
| Margin selling wholesale | ~67% |
These are modeled figures, not quotes, and they need to be confirmed with a manufacturer. The real risk is not the soap cost, it is retail. Slotting fees and trade spend eat fifteen to twenty five percent of revenue, and Hello Bello went bankrupt in this exact category despite doing a hundred and seventy nine million dollars in sales. So the plan sells direct and through baby registries first, where the margin actually stays with us, and only walks into Target with proof in hand.
Rough capital to get to shelf: five hundred thousand to one and a half million dollars.
How it gets built
Nine to fifteen months from idea to something you can hold.
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Formulate and test 3 to 6 months
Commission the syndet bar at pH 5.5, then pay for the eye irritation and dermatologist testing that makes the tear-free claim honest. This happens first, because everything else depends on it.
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Brand, mold, and clear the name runs in parallel
Design the cast, cut the tooling, print the cartons, and file the trademark. The name is set: Tubkins, with the .com and .baby both open and no blocking mark found in a first-pass search.
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Launch direct, Amazon, and Babylist months 9 to 12
Babylist runs the registry for more than half of first time parents. A cute character bar is close to a perfect baby shower gift, which is a far cheaper way to find customers than buying ads.
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Walk into retail with receipts year two
Target and specialty baby once the velocity data exists. Character licensing after that, once there is enough volume to make a Bluey or Sesame Street deal worth signing.
What I actually want to do
Hand this to someone who can build it.
I am not going to manufacture soap myself. What I can do is take a finished idea to someone who already operates in this space, the research done, the risks named, and the brand fully designed, and see whether it gets someone excited enough to run with it.
You are one of a handful of people I trust that I am showing this to. The name is decided, Tubkins, and it has cleared trademark and domain checks. The brand is designed and the product you see above is real. All I want back is your honest gut read, and, ideally, to see you a little bit excited.
Three questions, if you have five minutes: would you buy it, who should I be talking to, and what is the part that made you wince?